


Home Entertainment

by felisblanco



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-24
Updated: 2005-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-20 02:54:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10653444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: Sillyfic based on a certain's actor chicken phobia. With porn!





	Home Entertainment

**Author's Note:**

> Remember I said something about needing silly in my life? This would be it. A very silly little fic, unbeta'd and written when I should have gone to bed ages ago. So... silly. With chickens.

“Crap.”

Angel looked up from the latest edition of The Evil Enquirer only to sigh and resume his reading. No point in asking what was wrong. He’d be told soon enough.

“Crap, crap, crap.”

...

“Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap...”

“What?!” As soon as he saw the smirk on Spike’s face he knew he had lost. Another game of aggravating Angel gone Spike 1 – Angel 0.

“Oh nothing. It’s just... How the bloody hell can you have 150 channels and nothing worth watching on any of them?” And he continued to flip the channels, never stopping more than a second on each.

Sighing, Angel threw the magazine on his desk and walked over to the couch. “For God’s sake, Spike...” He stopped and frowned. “There are 150 channels?”

“And no porn! How can you have 150 channels, living in the temple of evil and there’s no bloody porn?”

“It’s not a temple of... there’s no porn?” He sat down beside Spike on the couch and tried to grab the remote from him but Spike held it far away still flipping the channels relentlessly.

“News channels, old movies channels, nature channels, children’s channels.. Oooh, Cow and Chicken!”

“Turn it off, turn it off!!”

Spike looked over at the crouching vampire, hiding his face behind trembling hands. “Oh, for fuck’s sake Angel, it’s animated. Look, you could hardly tell it was a chicken if it wasn’t for the beak and the...”

“Off, Spike!!!”

He sighed. “You know, some day you’ll have to face those fears of yours ‘cos otherwise...”

“SPIKE!!”

“All right, all right.” Spike rolled his eyes and pushed the button. “There, see? No more chickens. You can...” He looked over at Angel, or rather the pillow covering his face. Sighing he pried the pillow away from Angel’s shaking hands. “Pet, it’s gone. It’s gone. I’m sorry, all right.”

Angel sat up slowly, pouting his lips. “Not my fault I don’t like them.”

“No, no.” Spike petted his thigh. “I bet many vampires are scared of... poultry.”

“Stop smirking!”

“I’m not...” Spike bit his lip, fighting a battle with his own face. “All gone now. Very serious. Come here, put your head in my lap. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Spike...” But he lay down and snuggled into Spike’s lap anyway; after all it did bring him closer to Spike’s cock that was now twitching against his cheek under the rough denim.

“Now where were we?” Spike stroked Angel’s hair absentmindedly, smiling when he started to purr playfully. “Oh yeah, no porn. Why is there no porn? Don’t they know you are a horny eunuch who needs some stimulation?”

Angel growled and Spike’s cock crawled back an inch. “I’m not a eunuch!”

Considering the proximity of Angel’s fangs to his most precious possession Spike decided to back down. “Well, not anymore you’re not. But they didn’t know I’d come along to save you from being abused daily by your own hand.”

Angel squirmed. “Wasn’t ... not daily...”

“Angel.” Spike tilted his head.

“Not daily!”

“Angel.” Spike quirked his eyebrow.

“Oh fuck it. All right!.” Angel waved his hands in exasperation. “Daily, yes. Ten times a day is more accurate. Happy now?”

“If you keep on shaking your head like that in my crotch I will be soon enough.”

“Like this? How about this then?”

“Yeah, that would...” Spike closed his eyes. “Oh yeah... just a little harder... just...” He slid his fingers in the spiky hair and pushed Angel’s head harder against his erection. “Right there… OW! You fucking bit me!”

“You were messing up my hair.” Angel grinned.

Spike scowled and rubbed his crotch. “And that gave you the right to bite my fucking cock?!”

“Fucking cock?” The grin got bigger. “I like the sound of that.”

“Well, if it wants to play now.” Spike pouted. “It’s all hurt and sore and...” He inhaled sharply. “Ok, I think it’s happy again now. Oh yeah, it’s very happy.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Getting happier by the minute.”

“I bet it is.” Angel licked his lips. “It’s got the finest mouth in the world working on it.”

“Thought I had the finest mouth in the world.”

Angel looked up at him. “Who taught you all you know, boy?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You did.”

Angel nodded smugly. “The pupil never oversteps the master.”

“You going all Zen on me in the middle of a blowjob?” Spike snorted. “How perverted is that?”

“I’ll let you know those monks are not as innocent as they look.”

“Oh please! Not the ‘I was molested by Tibetan monks’ story again.”

Angel huffed indignantly. “Well, I was!”

“Can’t believe you fell for their ‘Naked group meditation’ bollocks.”

“I have four words for you, Spike. Free. Virgin. Blood. Party.”

“That was entirely different!” Spike growled. “Now, are you gonna suck me or what?”

“Respect, boy, or you’re not getting anything.”

Spike rolled his eyes again. “Yes, Sire. Whatever you say, Sire. Please suck my cock, Sire.”

Angel scowled but the cock swaying in front of his face was too tantalising to waste more time on bickering.

The room was soon filled with sounds of moaning and sucking that then turned into even louder music of grunting and whimpering. The whole Sex Symphony finished up with staccatos of ‘yesyesyes’, reaching its peak with a beautiful soprano ‘Siiiireeee!!!’

They kissed and snuggled for a long while before falling asleep on the couch in a tangle of naked limbs and cocks.

~~~

“I’m sooo bored.” Bob reached over and fetched another beer from the cooler by the couch down in the security guards’ coffee room.

“Yeah,” Norman sighed and tapped his fifth cigarette from the crumpled pack. “I can’t believe we’re working for the biggest fucking law firm in the whole damn country and with 151 TV channels there’s only one that shows porn.” He lit up. “So, how long do you think before they start again?”

fin


End file.
